Consider Me Gone.

I won't come around again.

You depress me with your silence.

You break my heart with your lack of concern or consideration.

I feel like an idiot for spending the weekend wondering what I did to you. You've got no further interest in me and my life -- your silence and distance tells the truth, even when you're unwilling.

I feel stupid for nearly texting you over the night when I was suffering all that pain. It's obvious that you don't care. I promise you won't be receiving anymore updates about my health in the future. Even if I wind up going to the emergency room, dying on the floor... there will be no more updates. I'll stop wasting your time and my money with an unnecessary effort.

I'm the world's biggest idiot because I let myself become convinced everything is my fault and that I'm the one to blame. Well, goddamnit, I'm not falling for the crap anymore. Everything is NOT my fault, and I'm NOT to blame for everything. I'm tired of apologizing for stuff I shouldn't have to apologize for, and I'm tired of licking and kissing the toes of someone who doesn't give a damn about me and my life.

I'm the world's biggest idiot because I let myself believe you actually cared for me. I see it now -- you don't. The past four days have solidified my fear and given it credibility. If you don't want to care about my life, I won't be around for you to not care about. It's as simple as that. I'll shift my attention towards the people who actually DO care about me; the people who actually DO want me around. People who actually DO worry about my health and well-being. People I DON'T have to apologize to every other day. People who DON'T consider me abusive and nasty.

Fuck it. I'm not letting my heart get stepped on again. Go find yourself another stupid person to emotionally ruin and destroy, because you aren't ruining me ever again.

Consider me gone.

Have a nice life.