Venting Before Class.

I should've learned my lesson a few weeks back.

Things aren't going to change.

No matter how much I thought they would, they aren't and they won't.

I should've learned my lesson a few weeks back, and I should've run away. I should've run hard and fast. I should never have looked back. Looking back always trips you up, and I had to learn that lesson the hard way.

So I'm picking myself up and trying to pick the dirt out of the wounds once again, wondering how in the world I could've been so stupid. Why do I wear blinders and refuse to see things for how they really are? Is it that I'm afraid of the truth, or that I just love living a lie? I guess I like spending every day ultimately waiting for the next big disappointment, because lately that's all I do.

I apparently like getting stood up. I'm apparently not worth the time and energy it takes to say, "I'm going to be away for a bit, hold on." I'm definitely not worth keeping one's word to, because I always lay down and let people use me as a goddamn staircase. Step all over me, it doesn't matter if you hurt me, I completely understand now!

I also understand my own feelings, and they're telling me, "Hey idiot, run away before you get hurt again."

Isn't it a touch ironic that I've spent more time talking to people who don't like me as opposed to the person who supposedly loves me? I'd call it sad, but it's my own fault for putting up with it.

I guess it's worth repeating again: I should've learned my lesson a few weeks ago.

I need to find my way out of this hole before I get buried alive.

I don't think feeling like crap on a daily basis is worth it anymore.

I'm sorry, but it isn't.