Poisoned Musings.

I'm food poisoned. Or something.

I thought the shrimp in my dinner was fully cooked, but apparently it wasn't.

I'm laying here trembling. My muscles feel numb. My heart seems to be racing. I can barely see straight. I don't hurt, per se, but rather have a dull ache running through my body.

I just wanted to make myself feel better. So I spent a little extra money and bought myself a somewhat fancier than normal meal.

And now it's turned around and done this to me.

Isn't it ironic?

How is it that everything I do to try and pick myself up only winds up doing this to me?

If I were to die tonight in my sleep... y'know... that'd just be okay.

Do I want to? No. But if it happened, I can't say I'd complain.

In a sense, it'd be nice to die. Losing all the earthly limitations of the living world... never feeling pain... being able to fly without the risk of injury.

Freedom.

Floating.

Wherever you want. Whenever you want.

I'm not suicidal right now. I just really wish that for a day, I didn't exist.

If you were to die, would you be able to go back in time and witness how things could've been had you never been around?

Or do memories even exist at all?

Sometimes I don't think life is real. Much like time, life is an abstract concept.

Memories are only as truthful as the person who is remembering them. They're like stories. They can be manipulated.

Maybe it is, then, that dying is reality, and living is imaginary.

I think that maybe tomorrow, I will pretend to not exist.

It's not like I'd be missed.

But who knows.

This is probably just my food poisoning -- or whatever it is -- talking.

But maybe.

Just maybe.