Monday, December 8, 2008

Acid Trip or Accidental Travel?

So I spent an evening alone. After nearly four hours of being left to my own devices, I'd run out of things to do. I'd replaced all the trash bags, washed the dishes (three times), and counted up how many math problems await me in preparation for my final (882). I'd made something to eat and realized how depressing eating a makeshift dinner can be when you're alone.

I realized my legs were aching badly, so I grabbed some painkillers from the cabinet. I read first, and it said you could take two on your first hour rather than one. So I took two at the same time and laid down, plugging into my music.

Overhead, the ceiling fan was spinning slowly. My eyes got caught up watching it, and before I knew it, I had put myself in trance. This in itself is no big thing, as I put myself in trance quite a bit. My eyes kept following the ceiling fan blades in its repeating circles, and I became completely attached. My legs, which were draped over the armrest of the couch, began to levitate of their own accord until I was finally laying absolutely flat. I stopped blinking, and I felt my pulse gradually slowing. Every one of my vitals started dropping, yet I didn't feel alarmed.

Suddenly, I realized my eyes were open, but I saw nothing. It was as if being blind, yet I still felt no need for concern. Then my body began quivering, violently, as if I were cold. I could feel the heat of my body practically flowing out of me, and my body tightened. Then the blackness around me started turning grey... dark at first, but slowly lightening. I realized that my vision had me believing I was elevating. I couldn't feel the couch beneath my back, but I knew I was grounded... people can't hover. My shoulders and back, however, starting raising off the cushion, and I felt a weird heat on my face.

The grey suddenly turned to white, and I felt myself "pass" through a gate. Like passing through a portal into another realm. My legs lowered to drape across the couch again, and my body went completely limp.

I was still elevating, though, the world around me pulsing in time with a heartbeat that I thought had to be mine. The grey came back, but was more of a fog than a blanket. All the heat in my body seemed to be gone, and I eventually lost track of my fingers and toes. I couldn't tell if I were moving them or not. I almost felt like I had literally shriveled up.

Then the grey turned to colors. Rapid flickers of colors that still pulsed with that peculiar rhythm... but the speed began increasing. I felt myself spiraling upward wildly, and the colors eventually became this blur effect. By now I realized my pulse was so low that I couldn't feel it, and that I was breathing once every full minute. But I still didn't feel a reason to be concerned...

The colors then turned white, and I'd "passed" through another gate. After a moment I started moving again, but horizontally. I was shrouded in a bluish grey haze as I slowly started traveling outward. Where? I have no idea. I just kept venturing. Slowly, then with increased speed.

Finally, something beckoned me. "You're going too far. Come back," it seemed to say. I started to fall. I fell through both "gates" and woke up, all my vitals slowly regaining pace and the heat in my body trying to return. I looked at a clock, and realized that my little trip took about 40 minutes.

Did I possibly accidentally overdose on this medication, and what I experienced was just a really wild acid trip?

Did I actually leave my body behind and have an unexpected trip through some sort of extrasensory realm?

I have no idea what I did or where I went during those 40 minutes. What started as a trance to encourage a nap has become something that... actually... I don't know what it was. I think I should be alarmed, because of how low my vitals dropped, but I don't feel like I should be worried.

I hope Daddy gets home from work soon. I don't really want to go to bed until he's home.

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