Breathing Bleach?

I lacked a better title.

So yeah.

I didn't have my Public Speaking class this morning, which meant I got to sleep until the late hour of 7:30. Went to Geology at 11, learned that my last quiz gave me a 57/100. Sat through a lecture I didn't feel like going to, reading and drifting in and out of consciousness. It was a relatively cool day, so the walk was nice.

Picked up lunch for me and Daddy, ate in silence. He napped until 1:40, then got ready for work and left me alone at 2:45. Since I'd not slept that well the night before, and had a heavy lunch, I attempted to lay down for a nap.

At about 3:30, I was sharply awoken by eight hard, sharp bangs on my wall. This disturbed me because (1) I was supposed to be alone, and (2) my room is on the second floor of a tall house. I fell out of bed, quickly shutting and locking my bedroom door (as if that'd give me security), and looked out into the yard. Of course, there was nothing.

I slept with my TV on and my door locked tight.

I stirred again at about 6:00 after having a weird dream that I can't quite remember. Headed for the computer... found neither of my friends online. So I logged onto YPP, where nobody cared to socialize. Logged it off, watched YouTube for 20... got sad. Played Mario Strikers for all of 5 minutes before it lost its interest.

Strangely, began to feel like I was inhaling bleach. The air around me smells of chlorine and bleach, and my nose/chest/lungs burn like hell when I inhale. This has been going on for nearly 2 hours.

Went downstairs, made a tasteless TV dinner, and watched half an episode of How It's Made. Ate without really bothering to enjoy it, although tasteless meals have nothing to enjoy about them anyway, I guess. I spent that 10 minutes staring blankly at the screen, and can't say I remember much about the show at all.

Came back upstairs, plugged into my music, logged back onto YPP, and started up YouTube again. I'm so freaking interesting, it's sickening.

So yeah. I'm sitting here talking to nobody, looking at videos I've watched hundreds of times, and summing up just how much of a goddamned waste of life I am. Look at me! I sit on a computer for hours on end, talking to myself because I'm so frighteningly pathetic, I don't bother making--get this--friends!

I hate myself so damned much right now. What the hell is my friggin' problem? Maybe my imagining inhaling bleach/chlorine is some kind of sign.

Maybe I'll write another "cut your wrist" emo poem. But who reads my poetry?

Whoop-de-friggin'-do. I'm such a ray of sunshine.