A Musical First Post.

Well. First post on a new blog. Should I introduce myself? Hell, why not...

I'm Dani, though on YPP I'm Lucafira ("Luca"). ...Yes, my YPP life is a big factor of things; don't be surprised if I devote whole posts to it. I'm 20 years old, female, and in college. I live with my mom, stepdad, and 18-year-old sister... oh, yeah. And seven pets. But this is all for a post in another day.

No, tonight I'm rambling on a silly little topic. I was listening to a song--still am, actually--that moved me. I was thinking about someone when I listened to this song... moved myself to smiling tears.

It's amazing how something as simple as a song can provoke someone to feel a certain way. It's awesome how words set to a rhythm can make a person want to cry their eyes out in one melody, while the very next can make the same person want to grab a gun and fight for a cause. I've always been strongly affected by music. I draw to it a lot of times, using the song's instrumentals to inspire my pencil strokes. My writing would be absolutely nothing without the emotion a song can provoke me to feel.

I use music for therapeutic means. This is what I've decided, anyway. I listen to loud heavy metal in which lyrics of hate and anger are screamed to aggressive music. I think I do this because I'm such a timid person in reality. All it takes to silence me in reality is a screaming voice. The voice doesn't even have to be aimed at me. I'll just clam up and run and hide, like the proverbial dog with its tail between its legs. I also have a hard time standing up to defend myself. I suffer what I like to call "Staircase Syndrome," which is basically the equivalent of saying I lay down and let people walk all over me. I guess I use music to portray the feelings I normally can't.

That said, if someone can see what I'm listening to at any given time... the song can say a hell of a lot about how I'm feeling.

I also, sometimes, use music when I'm inducing trances on myself. Yeah, I do self-hypnotism. It helps me with my inability to sleep... anyway. Sometimes I induce trances just to escape. Like a nap, if you will. Anyway. I can use music to determine the sort of images I'll see in said trance. If I listen to something morbid, then I'll see morbid images. If I listen to something all sunshine and rainbows... you get the idea.

Music's a big part of my life. I guess that's what I'm really trying to say.

It's late... My thoughts aren't as focused as I thought they were. G'night...

...If I remember to sleep, that is.